Note: This fanfiction references the ending of Evergrace - both the game and Kaeko Shimomura's novelization, but isn't strictly from one or the other. Please do check out the English translation of the novel if some things don't make sense!
Man. After 8 years, I revived my Fanfiction account just for this dinky PS2 launch title RPG developed by Fromsoftware. Hope you enjoy.
A chair and a small table with a first aid kit on top.
A quiet room, well illuminated by the afternoon sunlight outside.
A girl sat still in the chair, bloodied sleeve rolled up to her upper arm. And a young boy was preparing the contents of the first aid kit, engrossed in the process.
"Why're you so quiet, Darius? Tell me about your day, since you're here and all."
But there was no response. Tight lipped and focused, two small hands were searching for the exact tools needed. Gauze, alcohol, tape, pins, perhaps not pins...
The girl pouted as she raised her uninjured arm. Careful not to brush against her open wound, she reached over and placed a hand on the young boy's head.
"Hellooo, Darius! Can you hear me?! You don't have to be so stressed out, you know! I'm totally fine!"
In fact, ruffling soft, white hair distracted her from the pain a bit.
The boy shook his head, and in reaction her hand retracted away. He lifted his head up to reveal a mopey face, reflected in wide eyes.
"Sharline, please don't bother me. I just wanna... I just want to bandage it up."
A slow, deep sigh, as to not move her arm too much.
"I promise you, it's nothing major. It's just hard for me to wrap a bandage tight enough with one hand, you know? I get hurt at practice all the time..."
The boy's face tensed up some more.
"But that's to be expected from archery! Those arrows are sharp, and you know how clumsy I can be!"
Well, she wasn't wrong. Sharline nearly tripped at the doorway after Darius opened the door for her. He had already prepared his heart for a double bloodbath on the floor of his home.
She'd been over maybe hundreds, maybe thousands of times, but that one especially high ledge somehow seemed to catch her when the memory of its existence just started to fade. Even Darius's own mother told him a particularly funny story from long ago.
"When I had just given birth, and all of Solta seemed to be visiting to give their blessings, the children of the village were especially clamouring to see their new friend."
"That new friend was me, right?"
"Of course, my dear. Do you remember the scene you made that day?"
Well, of course he wouldn't know...
"With the high step of our door, your father greeted all the visitors with a warning, but there was one girl who still managed to trip with a loud fall. Your father later told me all about it. She got up right away, rubbing her bruised nose a bit, and ran past all the adults and into our bedroom."
"...You were a very polite baby, Darius. But when she burst into the room with a great big grin, you cried for the first time that day. I remember it being even louder than the day you were born."
"Really?"
He could imagine a picture of Sharline, not much older than him, smiling brightly at his new-ish born self with a gap or two between her teeth. The same kind of smile she'd give today. A smile that seemed to make things alright for a moment.
Why would he cry...? Babies were happy when people smiled at them, right? And babies clapped their hands when they were happy, right? Those newly formed hands, bathed in sunlight for the first time, unblemished by anything - not even the slight suggestion of a birthmark. Those first few months of happiness...
His mother gazed at his spaced out face, and sweetly replied back.
"Her face was covered in blood as it dripped down from her nose."
"I guess I do know..."
A triumphant "hmph" in response.
It was a long pause beforehand, though. Darius was a pretty quiet kid, and that left Sharline wondering what was going on through his mind.
What was she like, at that age? Thinking about what her mother might bring home for dinner, or when she might be invited on a mock hunting trip, or maybe the latest challenge imposed on her by the village boys that she sought to overcome. Simple days with simple thoughts. But Darius wasn't a simple kid like she was, wasn't she? She glanced over at the boy, with precise hands applying a piece of alcohol-soaked cotton on her - ow - wound.
Amber eyes, fixated and clear like the real stuff, yet somehow wizened and weathered, also like the real stuff.
She thought about how her fellow hunters treated her injuries in the field. Not like she got them often, nor were they usually serious, but that was all the more reason for them to usually gloss it over.
On the rare occasion a hunter was particularly nice (or maybe just ignorant), she'd get a quick and messy wrap-up rather than the usual first aid stuff tossed her way. Animal blood, human blood, all mixed together in a way that'd make for a good cautionary tale for the next generation of hunters.
The hushed tones as she left early that day, whispers intertwined with the rustles of dried out plains.
An accident, they said. Didn't have enough wraps to go around.
...This definitely stung much less.
Maybe, she could've easily gone home and taken her sweet time to slowly bandage up her arm with one free hand... Though she might've passed out from blood loss before that.
Something just drew her to that familiar home in the outskirts of the plaza... Darius was plenty younger than Sharline, but he just had an air of responsibility, dependability, all those long words that ended with "abilities." In a weird way, his seriousness kinda reminded Sharline of the old village doctor - same kind of maturity, and same grey hair to match, too.
Though it didn't make her all that happy to think that.
She bit her lips, as if to quell the trembling that began to rise up.
Maybe an adult would have the strength, but a kid's not meant to be faced with rows of cold eyes just by passing through the village. A child shouldn't have to shield himself from the hurtful words and attacks of other children. And a seven year old shouldn't have to be wiping up his friend's bloodied arm. But, well, there she was anyway. Couldn't even keep still enough to let the kid do his job properly.
It all made Sharline just want to shout from some rooftop in the heart of Solta. Point fingers at everyone who had ever treated Darius like some pariah. And when she would certainly face protests from the boy himself, she wanted to tell him that he shouldn't be used to this, either.
Clenched fists distracted from the stinging pain, too.
Though, now the trembling was a bit much. She wasn't losing that much blood, was she?
A drop of something slid down her arm. Not blood, thankfully. But rather...
Water? No, wait…
Sharline snapped out of her spiralling thoughts, and turned to Darius's way.
He was clinging onto her arm, tightly.
White hair bristling between the crevices of tightly wrapped bandages.
"I-I'm sorry, Sh-Sharline, but I just wish..."
That mark danced as his hands trembled. As if it happily partook in his misery.
"I wish you wouldn't go h-hunting anymore... It's so dumb for me to say that, b-b-but..."
Darius couldn't get any more words out on account of snot and tears. Or, perhaps he did say more, but his shaking frame made his words tremble just as much.
"I-it's s-selfish, b-b-but..."
Sharline took her free arm and brought the young boy into a hug without a second thought.
Like a hug she'd given hundreds of times before.
He wasn't some esteemed doctor mature beyond his years, nor some pariah deserving of hate and scorn -
Darius was a child.
For a moment, his arms went slack from the suddenness of the hug. She took the moment and wrapped her other arm around his back.
It stung. But until he no longer trembled from the weight of his cries…
All I can do is cling on like this...
I can't even do anything more.
I need to be stronger.
It was a bit funny watching Darius eat a bowl of chips with his mopey face. But Sharline knew him well enough, that no child could resist a secret snack of sweets. His tense shoulders eased as he ate, and so did her own.
She felt awfully bad for making Darius wrap her bandages, so at the very least, treating him to some food just felt fair to share with him. Even before she got to his house, she had planned fried eggs (her sole specialty), making a show with flips and showing off her armwork... but her heart sank at the thought of worrying Darius again. Even through nibbles of chips, he snuck glances at her arm here and there.
Technically, those flakes of red fruit chips were a secret granted only to her - the red fruit, blended by hand until a sweet pulp, then laid on the rooftops to dry. Then flip after a day, let dry some more, and take care not to let a single drop of moisture in, then... What came after that? Always busy running off to the next meeting to hear her mother's recipe to the very end.
With the crops growing sparser by the year, Sharline always furiously shook her head at the invitation to sample the neighboring family's recipe, even as Darius's mother proclaimed her "an honourary god-daughter" worthy of being able to sneak a few bites.
Then, an honorary god-sister, technically?
A silly grin growing on her face, the boy across the table from her couldn't help but ask.
"Are... you alright now, Sharline?"
I'm fine with that. I'd be happy, really. It's too quiet back at home, anyways.
"Yeah. I'm just thinking about how your mom's gonna kill me when she gets back."
Felkin was slow on the uptake of the situation, as always. A forest that magically burst into re-existence. Some girl he didn't even know showing up, knowing more about his comrades than he did. And now...
"Sleeping early for the night?!"
With a few protests, Ruyan was successfully able to wrangle him to one of the sleeping tents set up for the group.
"Darius, you remember the protocol, right? I'll be depending on you both to keep watch for the night.
...But make sure to get some sleep, both of you."
Perhaps Ruyan had imagined a night bursting with words, built up over the last... 10 years? More than that, right? Stories and promises made, gentle eyes and grateful tears. Maybe he would wake up to see Darius's rare smile, and fell asleep with that little bit of hope. Enough to keep him asleep after one incredible, impossible day.
But in reality, a glassy-eyed gaze reflected the fire, burning as red as her hair. The log she sat up against was uncomfortably bumpy on her back. The dirt she sat on was the same way, but... She felt compelled to put up with it, for some reason.
The fire also lit up just the hints of a person's back, broad and hunched a bit. Another pair of eyes reflected off a sword in the middle of polishing. Gleaming silver camouflaging grey hair.
Darius had already polished the sword to perfection about two hours ago, though.
"...So, what did he mean?"
"Huh?"
"I mean, the protocol that... The protocol, the one that Ruyan mentioned?"
"Ah, that. Standard soldier training."
Neither of them even looked up.
A quiet sigh against the roaring fire.
Well, the fire reminded Sharline of something.
Something about its smoke? Dry heat? Drying? She racked her brain for the answer, anything to distract her from the awkward silence at hand.
More than awkward, even. The silence reminded her of when Darius got all serious, acting way older than he was. Almost instinctively, she wanted to do something funny to him, not just to break the silence, but to shake him out of th -
"...Wake the others when danger comes."
Darius spoke up suddenly.
"And always have a sword nearby."
As if reciting from memory.
"No long-range weapons allowed. And..."
Okay, he wasn't as curt as she remembered.
"Keep the fire going, and - "
What? How did he remember all this?
"Wait, no long range? Should I be getting a sword of my own, then?"
Maybe some movement would break the awkwardness around here - no way she'd let Solta's (self-proclaimed) best archer stand behind some soldiers if it came down to it, that's for sure. Sharline started to get up from her spot with some unfounded excitement.
"Don't worry, I'll just borrow o - agh!"
Pressure was placed the wrong way for a moment.
"Aaagh..."
Sharline landed back on the rough ground with both blunt and sharp pain in her body.
Butt was fine. But there was a lasting sting on her upper arm.
...What the? Even after all that, they still haven't fallen off?!
"Sharline, are you okay?!"
She grasped at her right arm and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.
"Yeah, Darius, but you... You need to learn how to wrap those bandages way less tight!"
She looked up with a smile and a grimace that might've been too wide, one to let the boy know she was okay, for he always seemed to calm down a bit with that.
"I should've said it earlier, but you gotta practice first aid some more!"
The pain let up. She opened her eyes.
"Gonna become a doctor when you grow up, ri - ..."
The first thing Sharline could see properly was a nostalgic face, amber eyes of concern, much like the ones that snuck glances between bites of chips.
Yet, the longer she looked, the more unknown that face.
"...Bandages?"
Darius was a child.
"Don't cry, Sharline. Because you two aren't alone, you'll..."
Sienna's last words were still fresh in her mind.
And it was true, the two of them were alive. No, more important than that, Darius was alive.
Yet...
No, not now, you stupid, stupid tears! Why are you crying?! He's right there! He's still here!
"No, wait, I'm sorry, that was something from... You wouldn't..."
What the hell's coming out of your mouth, now?!
"Of course you wouldn't... I know you're alive, Darius, and I'm grateful that... You're here and all b-but I..."
Just feel like I've...
Even as the stinging intensified, even if her words went unfinished, she buried her face into her knees and clutched her legs in tightly. Those bandages, wrapped so carefully who knows when, she must've forgotten about it all through such a fairytale of a journey.
The chips she ate up with him. The understanding smile of his mother. That small puppy-eyed face looking through the window as she walked back to her own home...
Fresh in her mind, but probably, no, definitely forgotten in his.
The Darius she knew had grown up in a single blink, and it wasn't some hackneyed phrase that adults used to spew off around her. It was an undeniable, impossible truth.
"Sharline, are you okay?! Was it something in your arm?"
A hand that shook her a bit too roughly. She wanted to tell him to stop, and so she looked up, but...
You've grown up.
Her own words haunted her now.
She immediately ducked back down and hid behind her knees, behind her stupid, ever-increasing tears, to hide away from everything.
Darius let go of her, hand lingering in the air, and stayed quiet for a moment.
"What bandages were you talking about...?"
But only the occasional muffled sob answered back. He'd seen so many incredulous things today, but to see Sharline like this was...
...No, he had an inkling of a reason.
He turned that hand over.
I know you saved us. I know, I know... You're not some cursed mark anymore but, it's a bit cruel to leave me here not knowing what to do, don't you think?
Though maybe that was a bit ungrateful for him to think, too.
"Sharline, could you look up?"
No response.
"Morpheus didn't put some Alcrest mark on your arm, did he?"
It was a serious question, but it came out weird.
"Do you need me to call Ruy or Felk o - "
"Darius, I'm sorry."
Between smothered, shaky breaths.
"...C-can you just leave me alone?"
No way in hell.
He took a seat beside Sharline against the log, and glared into the fire she was staring at before.
…
...
...Okay, that was all cool and defiant to do, like he'd just rebelled against some authority figure, but he still didn't know how to make Sharline feel better. But there was no way he'd leave her alone after 13 years of... not being with her, to put it bluntly.
Bandages, huh. Must've been something from when he was a child.
No doubt that Sharline would remember it clearly. And no doubt that he'd have forgotten. Because of the things that haunted his childhood, or perhaps the years that had piled up, or maybe just because the memories of the Billiana and Rieubane were far too fresh to think of anything else... Well, other than how to console his childhood-sister-friend, of course.
Maybe, another time, he might recall it. But a single memory wasn't going to make things better.
The campfire danced slowly, and the night grew colder.
And Darius knew it was protocol to feed the flames, but...
He looked to his side, just slightly. It was as if one gust could blow that flame away at any moment.
So he looked back into the fire, as if the answer could be found there.
...
...Wait, Sharline was grasping at her right arm, right?
Maybe he should, at least, roll up her sleeve and see if those bandages she mentioned were wrapped alright. Or if they needed to be changed. Even if he failed the glowing embers of the campfire, he could at least honour that other protocol of treating injuries.
Though, Sharline sure didn't look like she wanted to be touched right now. But, what if there was some wound that reopened? How dire was it? Or maybe it really was the -
"I'm sorry."
A muffled voice snapped Darius out of his thoughts.
"...I probably look like the most useless big sister around right now."
"No, you didn't do anyt - "
"That's what useless means, Darius."
Her arms slackened around her knees, just a little bit.
"...I don't know why I cried over something so dumb. You did so much for me, for Rieubane, and you're gonna do even greater things from now on."
"..."
But those hands still gripped onto her legs tightly.
"I'm sorry that I lost myself for a moment there, Darius."
A long exhale.
"To be honest, I know that even if you're a lot older now, you're still the same little kid inside. I know it."
She raised her head up.
"So, I'm not... It won't take long, I'll... Just get used to..."
Amber eyes of concern. An unfamiliar face that wasn't going away.
And as much as she protested to herself, the tears in Sharline's eyes began to spill anew.
Darius instinctively reached his hands out.
They wavered for a moment, knowing that she just wanted to be alone.
Still, it was just a moment, and in the next Darius brought Sharline into a hug.
...
...
...How long...
How long has it been...
More than that, even. He'd always been at the receiving end, hadn't he.
With that thought, he couldn't help but bring his arms closer. To hold her tighter.
As if to say thank you.
As if to confirm that Sharline was there.
She really, really, really was.
Thank goodness. Thank goodness...
...
An embarrassing, nostalgic feeling came to mind. But just for a moment.
Someone once taught him that a hug was one way to make things better for a moment.
And that the moment it was needed the most, common sense should be thrown away to the wind.
Well, sometimes.
So it was fine to return the favour, even if for a moment, right?
And after the cascade of moments, he opened his mouth to speak.
"If it hurts to look at me, just..."
"Just look away for now. You can pretend it's not me or something."
That did not make any sense.
"Just... You said earlier that I helped you out. But, for the last 13 years, I..."
Am I really going to say that?
"No, even more than that, I... You've saved me more than I can ever remember. And more than I've forgotten, I'm sure. ...So, don't call yourself useless. Even though I'm not the same Darius I was before, you're probably right about what's inside."
I really said that. And it didn't come out right.
"What I mean, is... Just cry."
What.
"Just... Cry it out. I won't leave you alone."
No doubt, being squeezed by one of the most feared swordsmen of Solta that just happened to be your magically older little brother wasn't going to do any good. Especially if he just disrespected everything you said, and told you to cry harder on top of that.
But, before Darius could let out any more awkward words of comfort, he could feel shaky arms clutching his back, and fresh sobbing into his shoulder.
"I-I didn't d-do anything... I c-couldn't even s-save... You just g-grew up so fast... But... B-but...!"
He could hear Sharline's cries clearly, and though it wasn't all that reassuring to hear, somehow he knew it was right. Or that he hoped it to be.
For the people of Rieubane. For the time you've lost. Until your tears dry up, cry.
He raised one hand up slowly, placed it on Sharline's head, and began to stroke her hair.
...A scroungy cat came to mind.
And so did the awkward attempts of affection he used to give to Ruyan and Faeana. No, far more awkward than that. Darius recalled those memories as he looked at the Crest, gently rocking from side to side.
Just cry it out. Because, I know you, and that you'll smile again.
The smile I love so much.
...
...
I hope I forget how embarrassing I am in the morning.
It wasn't long after that that the hints of sunlight streamed through the trees once more.
By the time Darius had a thought to relight the campfire, it was already too late for all that.
It was plenty warm without the campfire, at least. And the stillness of the whole thing was... Kind of nice.
Yes, it was nice, even though he was hunched over awkwardly, arms getting stiff, and had been in the same spot for the last while. He could hear a steady, slow heartbeat, though he couldn't tell whose it was. He could also hear hints of Sharline's soft breathing - and that was better than hearing her sobs. Yeah, much nicer.
...He kinda felt like a babysitter. Though there wasn't a baby, and just an older sister who was now oddly younger than him now. Far more peaceful, for sure, than his fellow soldiers who competed in their sleep for the loudest sno -
"I'm not asleep, by the way."
"...Oh, you weren't?"
"I'd snore real loudly if I did. And your scarves smell terrible."
"I... See. Then, do you want me to le - "
"No, it's fine."
He could feel a light pat on his back.
"Just a little longer. It's like my teachings have finally borne fruit."
A quiet chuckle into layers of less-than-fresh scarves.
A laugh he hadn't heard in forever.
"...Y'know, Darius. I always thought you'd be a doctor when you grew up, you know?"
"Really?"
"Yeah. You'd take care of everyone in Solta, from the babies to the older folks. And if you saw anyone with the Crest, you'd make sure to reassure them that it wasn't anything bad at all. And no one would ever get sick under your watch. I remember thinking that I woulda been so proud of you."
"...I'm sorry."
"Honestly, I thought that, but I wasn't all that happy about it. I didn't want you to grow up so fast."
"Sharline, I'm really, really sorry."
"Yeah, you should be. The way you spouted off all those things about what soldiers do, that... That was really something else. But, I know you had your reasons."
"I… I did."
"And I want to hear all about it later. Every year. Every month. Every day. I expect every detail."
Even if he couldn't see it, Sharline was surely grinning cheekily at her own demands. Well, probably.
From the direction of the other tents, he could hear occasional stirrings of activity. And, in their talk, the sun had risen that little bit more.
"So, are you okay now, Sharline?"
"Yeah."
"You're not going to cry again if you look at me, are you?"
She pulled away from Darius's arms and leaned back. Wiping her eyes a bit, Sharline inspected Darius up and down once more. As if looking for stray stains on his face, or something. She shook her head slowly.
"I feel a lot better when it's not dark and gloomy. Kinda like when the sun matches my outfit. Or my hair."
Her smile grew a bit wider.
"And, speaking of, I didn't expect you to pet my head like that. Who'd you learn it from? Ruyan? Or that Felkin? No way, right?"
"I - ...Probably Ruy, I think..."
"I'm impressed. You've changed in a lot of ways, Darius."
Sharline nodded, approvingly, as if getting back into her big sister role more than ever before.
"I'll get used to it with time, I know it. So get used to me saying that 'you've changed.'"
"...No, wait, it's more like even if I don't, you always change everyday anyways. Well, we all do, but... I guess to put it simply, I'm looking forward to seeing how your friends have changed you, too - erm."
Before Darius could wrap up their impossible situation into one concise moral for her, Sharline wrapped her arms around him once more.
"Weeell, you know what I mean!"
From the view atop Darius's shoulder, she could see the specks of his comrades getting closer.
So for the fun of it, she made sure to hug him extra tight.
"...Thank you for being there, Darius. I'm happy."
Darius tried to ignore the embarrassment-nostalgia that came to mind once more, or the sounds of the footsteps that approached, and looked up at the sky.
The green skies were gone. The fairy tale of Rieubane had reached its last page. The Mother of All Things whispered to him the moral of the story, and set him off to write another.
And so, he prayed that the protagonists of the new story would always, always be together.